I have something to say.





I have something I want to get off my chest.





I have something to confess.





I have to say that I won't enable lies by someone who supposedly hates me.




I have to get off my chest the guilt she's attached to me.




I have to confess, that I'm gay.





I'll elaborate, but for now, just knowing it is probably enough for you. If you have questions to ask, they'll probably be answered either next time I journal, or now. If it's important enough that you want the answers as soon as possible, you know my phone number, my email address, my screen name, my home address. If you simply don't care at all, then don't expect me to smile. If you don't support it, don't expect me to accept it.


I've done something brave, some people might think it's stupid, some people might not even believe me, but you don't believe me because I have my dark secrets, and it doesn't get much darker than this. It's so dark it's unbelievable, but it's in the light now.


I love being who I am, even though I'm always changing a little bit, and sometimes a lot. The good parts remain, and the bitterness fades.


I'm going to New York City tomorrow.

Imagine, escaping your own bubble. Imagine going out and seeing the world instead of insisting that where you live is the only beautiful place on Earth.


Imagine experiencing something real instead of talking out your ass about things you think you know about. Imagine giving things a chance instead of bringing them down all the time because you give yourself enough credit to do so.



Nothing justifies millions of men, women, and children dying for being proud of their own spirituality.


Nothing justifies distortion of history.


Nothing justifies hating someone for the way they're born, or something they can't control.


You have choices that they don't have, and choosing to be wretched and cold is hardly the way to be thankful for such an incredible gift.




I don't thank God enough for all I have, I'm one lucky bitch. Thank you God.



I am a lesbian. No, I'm not an atheist or a pagan. No, I'm not a liberal. No, I'm not a feminist or a man hater.

I'm a Christian. I'm a Libertarian. I love men.

Feeling these urges doesn't change any of that, it doesn't make me any less of who I am. I'm still the same person, I still want the same things.


Don't throw me in a category like you do with everything else you choose to hate. Hatred is a choice, that's what separates it from love. Love is everywhere, and it's unstoppable, it's not a choice, it's something you're born with. You may disagree with me instantly if you're somebody who let's their anger control them, but one day you'll learn. You'll choose to set your love free from a cage of hatred, and you'll understand the liberation and the freedom. You'll understand the pure joy.